Hey First Time Moms & Dads! You Don't Need All That Stuff!

Hey readers!  This one goes out to all of you future moms and dads that are expecting your first baby.  It's inspired by some good friends who are pregnant with their first babes as I type this, and the conversations we've had about what you do, and do not actually need.  (Now, this is by no means a definitive list, and there may be a few things on here that really would make your life easier that I just didn't find necessary... but you get the picture here!  It's always nice to know what other moms could have lived without, because magazines and stores will try to convince you that you need a whole lot of junk that you just don't need.  Ever.)

Ok, so I'm going to start with a couple of things you need.  And y'all know what #1 is going to be right?

#1 must have for new parents- Cloth Diapers!  Seriously now, if you didn't see that one coming... But really- I've said this before, and I'll say it again.  And again.  And again.  Cloth is EASY, Saves you money, keeps nasty chemicals away from your sweet babe's bum, and they are just so darn cute!  My favorite of all favorites right now happens to be Thirsties Cloth Diapers AIO (that means All in One if you're new to cloth).  I'll tell you why I love them because this will be a good jumping off point, and then you can look through some of my older posts about cloth diapering like this one or this one, or even this one here.  There are quite a few.  Take a look around!  Anywhoo-  Thirsties Diapers makes a few different styles of diapers, but my favorite by far (and even favorite out of anything right now) is their Duo All in One Diaper.  It's only about $15 a diaper, two sized for a great fit, and it's nice and absorbent.  Also, it's my opinion that Thirsties has some of the best colors around on their diapers, and there are so many color options and prints to choose from.

#2 must have for new parents- a co-sleeper of some sort.  With E we used a Rock 'n Play Sleeper, which worked great, but I think with baby #2 (whenever they decide to come into existence) we will get an Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper since babe #2 will be sharing our room longer than E did as we are currently living in only a 2 bedroom house.  Either way, having a safe and easy way to keep baby right next to you in those first 3-5 months will be a sleep-saver.  Trust me on that one.  You don't want to be getting out of bed, leaving your room, feeding your baby in a chair for an hour, then dragging your tired feet back into bed a million times a night.  With a co-sleeper you can just reach over and bring your baby into bed to nurse.  So.  Nice.

#3 must have for new parents- This one's for the moms.  A really good, supportive nursing pillow.  Especially if you are big chested like I am.  I had a Boppy with E, but I always needed a pillow under it.  It was a little bit of a head ache.  Spend the extra money, and go with something like the Balboa Baby Nursing Pillow.  That extra support and firmness can make a big difference in how comfortable you are when nursing your baby.

So now let's get to the things that you really could live without.  So save your money.  Babies are expensive enough, right?

#1 thing I wish we hadn't registered for-  a travel system.  Yup.  HUGE waste of money in my opinion, and here's why... when E was a tiny little baby I personally preferred to wear her.  She preferred it too.  There were times when a stroller came in handy at first, but we just didn't use our travel system stroller much in those first months.  Now that E is older, we go on more walks, but I quickly found that the small hard wheels of the travel system stroller just wasn't going to cut it here in Kansas City.  The sidewalks are awful.  And they're definitely not made for trail walking.  oi.  So I bought a BOB jogging stroller, and I LOVE it.  Now I really don't see when I will use the stroller that came with our travel system.

What I should have done was this- buy a nice and safe infant car seat.  Buy a stroller frame that I could have just clicked the carseat into.  Then bought a BOB.  Had I done that, I wouldn't be sitting here trying to figure out what the heck to do with my travel system stroller.  Lesson learned.

#2 thing I wish we hadn't registered for-  a Bumbo.  I thought I would love that thing, but man, I think I used it a maximum of ten times, and now it's just taking up space in my daughter's room while I try to think of where to store it.  Seriously.  They're cute, and it seems like a great idea, but E never seemed comfortable in it.  I would say you can skip it.

#3 thing I wish we hadn't registered for-  all those little odds and ends.  You know what I'm talking about.  The cute little gadgets, the toys, the socks.  All that stuff that will clutter up your baby's room and look cute, but never actually make your life easier.  The little bath ducky that is supposed to tell you if your baby's bath water is too hot (it doesn't really work), the stuff that companies will market to you because they know you're nervous because you've never had a baby before.  Trust your instincts, and save your money.  

I could go on and on and on with stuff you need and don't need.  So before you go and register, poll your mom friends, ask your sisters and your brothers what they found helpful and what they didn't.  Go buy yourself some Cloth Diapers, and ditch the useless gadgets.  After all, you know what the Beatles said- "All you need is love!"

And a bassinet.  

Do you have a love-hate relationship

With your cloth diapers?

What I mean by that is, did you buy a whole lot of one brand of diaper when you started your stash after doing weeks of research, thinking you found the perfect one, only to find that they just aren't all you thought they'd be?  Or maybe you just love them at one age, and hate them at another?  I'm here to tell you, don't throw in the towel just yet!

just hanging out in her Fuzzibunz

Cloth diapers are a big expense, and it can be frustrating when they're just not working as well as you want them too.  Whether they're just too bulky, you can't get the rise just right, or they're too tight in the legs, what doesn't work well for you right now may be just what you need three months from now.  Of course that also means that what works for you now may not work for you in three months.  Especially if you use one sized diapers.

The first diapers that fit E super well were our Fuzzi Bunz Cloth Diapers.  The rise was perfect, no leg gaps at all, and super trim.  Of course she was tiny so one insert was all we needed, so her diapers fit perfectly in her clothes.  They really were the only diaper that fit her for a while.  Especially when she had newborn thighs.  The adjustable leg elastic was a life-saver.

Now when E went through a super-heavy wetting stage, I had a little bit of a harder time figuring out how to make our Elites work for us.  Two inserts just felt too bulky, so I kind of abandoned them for a few months.  I moved on to some other one sized diapers.  I never loved how bulky the others were on her when she was itty bitty though.  I kept wanting to make those Fuzzi Bunz Diapers work for us!

A month or two later I decided to give the Elites another go.  I realized I could trifold a small prefold and stuff that into the pocket.  Problem solved!  All it took was a month or two, and getting out of the super-heavy wetting stage, and they are one of the first diapers I reach for again.

And those other bulkier one sized diapers that fit so poorly on E when she was tiny-  now they fit great!   I've just learned in these past 14 months that babies change so quickly.  Their little thighs go from chicken legs to roll-covered cherub legs in no time flat.  Then just as quickly they're back to chicken legs when they start walking!  So the moral of my story here is that if you bought a few diapers that you thought you would just love, but don't- you may not have to throw in the towel just yet.  Give it some time because they could be just what you need a little further down the road.

That's also why I tell people to buy a few different brands of diapers when they're starting out.  You just don't know what you're going to love, because you just don't know what your future little bundle might need.  Give your diapers some time to prove themselves, and if after a six months or a year you just don't love them- you could always sell them and try something new.  That's the beauty of cloth after all is that it holds its value so well.

So if at first you don't succeed, try try again.  Or sell them off and buy something new.  Whatever floats your boat!

Smart Bottoms AIO Diaper Review

It's been a while since I've reviewed a diaper for you guys!  Woo!  Feeding your addiction one diaper at  a time.  I've got another one for you!  Lovely Eco Chic needed a second opinion on the Smart Bottoms Smart One 3.0 AIO, and I was more than happy to give that second opinion as I'd never tried Smart Bottoms before.  And y'all know I LOVE trying new diapers on E.  We've talked about our addiction before.

We'll start that Cloth Diapers Anonymous group as soon as our stashes are done...


Yeah.  Ok.  Enough with the delusions and on to the good stuff!  I know you want to hear all about this diaper, and I have a lot of great things to tell you about it!.  Firstly, it's a one sized all in one- so if you're new to cloth and trying to figure out what in the heck that means- it's a diaper that can grow with your baby.  Smart Bottoms says their diaper can fit a baby ranging from 8 lbs to 35 lbs.  It's also an all in one which means no stuffing, no prefolds, no trying to figure out how to set it up- the organic cotton inner is sewn right in!  Easy peasy.  They come in a bunch of great colors and prints, and have a feature I love- some of their colored diapers have contrasting snap colors.  Cute!!!

The deets-  The inner is a sewn in "snake style" insert.  What that means is that it is one long insert that you can lay in the diaper however your baby needs it.  I put it on E to sleep in one night and the girl is a tummy sleeper so I folded that little "snake" to have the most absorbency in the front, right where she gets the heaviest wetting at night.  It's a feature I definitely love.  It does not have a stay dry top on the insert, which is something some people love and others hate.  I don't feel passionately one way or the other about that, but it's just something to keep in mind when you're ordering one of these.  Some people do say that having a natural fiber against the skin with no stay dry inner can help babies potty learn faster because they can feel when they are wet.  It's also just my personal feeling that a diaper without a stay dry inner has got to be more comfortable and much less hot in the summer.

The diaper has four rise snaps which means there is tons of room for customization on the fit.  Which is awesome, because if you really do have an 8 lb newborn, the diaper will probably be pretty bulky snapped all the way down, but I think you probably would be able to get a good fit.  Obviously E is 14 months and almost 20 lbs, so that isn't an issue with her, but it does fit her really well.  It's not bulky at all, and she has plenty of room to grow into it.  If she keeps her infant round-tummy I might worry about running out of room in the waist, but as I think that will go away as she grows, I think she will get a lot of use out of this diaper.

The way the waist snaps are set up is a little different than most diapers, and in a really great way.  The female snaps are on the tabs, and the male snaps are on the tummy panel.  So what does that mean for you and your little one?  It means that there's no possibility of an errant tab snap digging into their skin. While I don't really think that would be an issue with this particular diaper since there are no hip-snaps, it is something that I think makes a whole lot of sense, and I'm not sure why other diapers aren't made that way.

So what do I love about this diaper?

*Organic cotton inner.  No worrying about what kind of chemicals may be going up next to your baby's skin with this diaper.  And if it does help with early potty learning- another huge plus.

*Great trim-fit.  Even when the snake insert is folded into crazy positions, your baby will never look like she or he can't move in this diaper.  But even being as trim as it is- E slept in this all night long with no extra absorbency added and had NO LEAKS!

*I love that the snaps on the tummy panel are reversed from what most cloth diapers are.  The female snaps are on the tabs, so they won't dig into your babe's skin.

*The colors and prints are so adorable.  Seriously.  I want them all.  Which really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, but they are just so cute.  And the contrasting snap colors?  Yes please!

*Super absorbent.  Keep in mind that as this diaper is organic cotton- it will take 5 or 6 washes to be fully absorbent.  If you only wash it once and then put it on your baby and it leaks- that is why.  That being said- once it is prepped and ready, this diaper is awesome!  It lasted E all night with no leaks.  And that is saying something!

*Easy to size, easy to use.  There's not much of a learning curve with this diaper, and there are so many ways you can fold the insert to get the right fit for your baby.

Is there anything I would change about this diaper?

*The leg elastic.  E has been having some crazy watery teething poops lately.  It's unfortunate.  And some diapers just don't hold it in at the legs.  While E hasn't pooped in the Smart Bottoms yet, I do worry about it's ability to keep it in.  I'd really love it if the leg elastic was top stitched.  I feel like leg elastic that is top stitched just stays in place a little better, and holds everything in a little better.  The way the elastic is on the Smart One is not bad- it's plenty snug, but I do worry about the watery teething poops.

*I'd like the tummy panel to have one more set of snaps and be just slightly wider.  On a really chunky baby, I'm not sure this diaper would really fit up to 35 lbs.

But that's it!  Just two things that I would improve on, and neither is even close to being a deal breaker for this gal!  I think the Smart One 3.0 is going to become one of those diapers that I reach for first.  It's so easy to use, is super duper cute, and really absorbent.  I also love the organic cotton inner, and think I'll probably need a couple more for the summer months because it just has to be a little cooler than most of E's fleece-inner diapers.

All in all, I really really love this diaper and I'd recommend it to anyone!  At $23 it's not the most expensive AIO, but it's not the cheapest either.  I'd say it's a pretty fair price for an organic cotton AIO and it certainly won't deter me from buying more.  I'm already planning my purchase of a Berry Berry color.  Pink with purple snaps!

Alright folks- hopefully I've just helped feed your cloth addiction today, and told you about a diaper you didn't know too much about before!

If We Are What We Eat...

Pretty soon we may all be mutants!

Oh gosh, I don't know if you all have been keeping up on our nation's food saga lately, but things are crazy!  Monsanto, GMO's, "FrankenFish"... it seems nearly impossible to get food that is simply that.  FOOD.  I wish I could say that I have a ton of free time on my hands, and that I have a bright green thumb, but neither of those two statements are even remotely true.  Seriously.  I kill every plant I touch, and I am currently raising a 13 month old, cloth diapering, working a retail job about 25 hours a week, and running my own portrait photography business, and selling Mary Kay as an independent beauty consultant.

Bottom line- I barely have time to shower or go to the bathroom.

I am not one of those moms that effortlessly does it all.  I'm not very organized, my house is always a disaster, and I'm just flat out tired most of the time from all of my responsibilities.  I simply balk at the idea of turning my entire backyard into a garden, as wonderful as that would be.  My problem here is that it seems like we're just going to be forced into that scenario at some point soon because I just can't stomach the idea of poisoning my daughter (and any future children) with produce laced with roundup. Gross.

I really have nothing super educated to say on this topic.  I'd have to send you to other sources for that, such as 100 Days of Real Food which is where I've been going to educate and inspire myself.  I'm certainly not an expert on all things food, and I can't claim to even make many dinners from scratch.  I simply work too late most nights and haven't just figured out a good crock-pot schedule yet.  BUT-  I do know that I am completely outraged at the state of food in this country.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, check out the documentary Hungry For Change.  You can watch it instantly on Netflix if you subscribe, and I'm sure you could find it to rent or watch elsewhere online.  Basically the food industry in the US is trying to addict you to everything unnatural and horrible for you.  Do you crave sweets all the time like I do?  Yep, well, it's not just because we have an enormous sweet tooth.  And really the only way to avoid all these additives is to ditch almost all processed foods.

Which is crazy.

It's crazy because I think about that and think to myself- how the heck am I going to have time to make every single meal we eat during the day from scratch.  Just thinking about it makes me almost break out in anxious hives.  Seriously.  I have no idea how to do this!  I love my mom, and she taught me SO much, but preparing meals wasn't one of them.  I'm the oldest of five and my dad works for a major newspaper, so he had crazy hours when we were kids.  I can't imagine trying to prepare three meals from scratch while trying to keep five crazy kids from killing each other.  All this means is that I feel totally lost in this journey and have no clue where to start.

So I signed up for The Fresh 20.  5 dinners worth of recipes and a shopping list that I can just print off?  Yes please!  All the foods are fresh, and in season.  Thank goodness for companies like this that realize some of us are completely clueless.

So now I have one more thing to add to the list of things to work on so E doesn't have to when she gets older.  Oh Lord, there is so much to change, but as long as I try, we will make some progress.  And that's what is really important I think.  Educating yourself.  Trying to change.  Making small steps towards a goal.

But I think the time has also come to get outraged.  Outraged that our government sanctions the slow and steady poisoning of it's people all in the name of money.  If you think our elected officials are not getting kickbacks from the likes of Monsanto, then I think you are going to be very disappointed once you start to do some research.  That's the thing though.  Do some research.  Decide for yourself what you are willing to accept for your family based on cold hard facts, not just the PR propaganda that is all over the place.

Oh man, I'm really starting to go off on a conspiratorial tangent here, but I'm telling you, this stuff is real, and it's so disturbing!

All I'm suggesting is that we all educate ourselves.  Good, healthy, safe food should be the norm, not the exception to the rule.  It also shouldn't cost an arm and a leg.  We shouldn't have to decide between putting gas in the car, or putting safe food on the table.  It's a sad state that we are in, and we need to stand up and demand change.

Because if we really are what we eat, we should be very very concerned.

Attack of the Killer Molars or The Baby Hulk

Oh my.

E has 3 molars coming in at the same time, and the fourth is not far behind.  Um, I hate teething.  It takes my sweet, funny, happy baby and turns her into what I can only describe as Baby Hulk.

Baby Hulk angry.

Baby Hulk smash.

Baby Hulk poop nasty teething-poops.

Baby Hulk growl at getting her teething-induced runny nose wiped.

Baby Hulk wake up way too freaking early and way too freaking crabby.

Seriously.  Can I get my baby back now?  I mean, the kid is growling at me right now as I type this.  She is also hugging her lovey so intensely that I am worried his little stuffed monkey head may pop off.  Oh the humanity!

I keep looking at those teething charts-  you know the ones that tell you which teeth typically come in at what age, and the order they start showing up.  Eisley is just blowing that chart out of the water.  Geez. 13 months old and she is now working on her 11th tooth.  Ok, so she's really doing pretty well all things considered.  I have heard before (and everything you hear is obviously true, so I'm sure this is infallible information) that if we teethed as adults we would be reduced to drooling, blubbering, morphine-sucking balls of misery.

Our babies are tougher than we are.


I really have nothing philosophical to say on the topic of teething.  I just have to say how much teething completely blows.  I want my little sweetums back.  Well, maybe sweetums is not quite the right nickname for my vivacious and spunky little 13 month old, but we'll just pretend that she is a perpetually sweet-tempered little angel who never fusses, arches her back and screams at the top of her (enormous) baby lungs when things don't go her way for the sake of my teething argument here.

Maybe one day scientists will find some magic pressure point or something to help our babies (and our tired nerves) get through teething gracefully and without pain.  Maybe one day our teeth will just magically appear in our gums and be perfectly straight.

Maybe one day I will stop being delusional and tired and stop wishing for the impossible.

But alas, that is what motherhood is full of.

Baby Hulks, bruised knees, baby kisses, and very little sleep.

I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Baby Hulk SMASH!

The One Where I Admit How Tired I Am

Man.  Maybe it's the two nights of almost no sleep talking here, but I am run down.  E has had what I think is the flu, and it has been both extremely sad, and extremely trying.  I'm beat.  I was beat way before she got sick though, and I suppose that is the problem.

I don't believe in pretending that motherhood (or life in general, really) is this perfect, lovely, hardship-free thing that it seems like all your friends are living.  I suppose that's the danger of social media.  It's so easy to showcase the moments where your house is clean, your children are smiling and happy, and you've actually showered.  You childless people reading this will get the showering bit someday.  Just wait.  Who the heck ever thought showering daily was a luxury?

Oh yeah.  Any mom ever.  ;)

Seriously though.  I think I unwittingly fall into that trap a lot.  Post when things are good.  Show how great my life is.  (Don't get me wrong, it is great, just not all the time.)  But what about those time when things just completely suck, you're overwhelmed, lonely, depressed, and wondering how you can continue juggling five million balls without dropping one or one thousand?  Conversely I don't want to post all the time about how hard things are.  I don't want to scare anyone into deciding not to have children.

I just think that things are hard for moms these days.  The economy is awful, so there is a massive number of moms who have to work to keep the electricity on and food on the table.  Lots of us are spread all over the country, far away from aunts, uncles, and grandparents who would otherwise love to help us when we are feeling completely overwhelmed and exhausted.  Then there are the silly things like the "mommy wars" where every decision that you decide to make public can be ridiculed at any moment.  You breastfeed?  Cover those up!  You formula feed?  How could you do that to your baby?!    I mean, really.  Motherhood is tough enough without some ignorant acquaintance or perfect stranger telling you how to raise your children, or what they think you are "doing wrong."

I personally am dealing with feeling overwhelmed, run down, and just downright depressed right now. I am being pulled in so many directions that it's rare that I even get an hour out of the house and to myself.  And running errands or going to work don't count.  I watch my daughter 10-12 hours a day (sometimes more) without any help while my husband is at work or doing something that needs to be done, then I go directly to work several days a week on top of that.  The days my husband has her most of the day, I am working an 8 hour shift.

I am tired.

So tired.

If I'm being completely honest with myself, I have days where I actually hope I will get fired from work so that I can have some kind of a break.

I admire those moms that can work, take care of their kids, and still shower more than 4 times a week and manage to look put together.  That, or I completely pity them because they've got to be just as tired as I am.  I just haven't figured out how to balance everything, and maybe I never will.  But I don't want to pretend that I'm awesome and life is just peachy all the time.  It doesn't help anyone, least of all myself.  Maybe if I admit that I am just two sleepless nights away from a mini-meltdown you will decide that it's ok to admit that you are too.

Seriously people.  Being a mom is crazy hard.

It's crazy amazing too, but it is undoubtedly crazy hard.

I don't know where I would be without my amazing community of friends, lots of whom are in the same phase of life as me.  We really try to help encourage each other, and it is so needed.  I think I'd lose my darn mind if it wasn't for that group of girls!  Even still-  it's so easy to feel alone and overwhelmed.  I mean, taking care of everyone's needs over your own is exhausting, and it is very easy to feel a little bitter and think "who the heck is taking care of my needs?"

Ok, now to be fair, when I think "who the heck is taking care of my needs?" it is an easy question to answer.  Firstly and most obviously- God is.  All the time.  He has provided for us every time we've needed it.  He just did it again yesterday.  Secondly, my incredibly hard working husband who does whatever he can to help us get ahead and get into a position to keep me home.

But I think what I really mean when I gripe about my needs being met is that I feel isolated, lonely, and suddenly in the last year my human interactions (ok- adult interactions) have decreased dramatically.  There's an emotional need for connection that is hard to meet when you're at home alone with babies who need from you all the time.

Anywho, my point is this- social media is not always a good thing.  #1- it clearly takes time away from my child.  #2- it can make me feel like crap when I see friends who "have it all together" and get their kids out of the house dressed and happy to do fun stuff every day.  Or so it seems.  I don't see their messy moments, hear them complain about how tired they are, and how their husbands didn't change any diapers that day so why are they complaining about changing one, etc etc.  It's like airbrushing in photos.  Sure, you're still writing and posting about your life.  You're just cleaning it up a little bit for the public.

I propose that we #1. Stop cleaning it up too much for the public.  Let's make it easier on each other and be real.  The amazing thing about that is when you let people know you're having a hard time, they can encourage you.  If they don't know... well you're on your own.  #2. Stop jumping down each others' throats about every little parenting decision someone makes that you don't agree with.  You know what I'm talking about.  "The Mommy Wars."  Let's grow up, stop attacking each other, and start supporting each other.  We get so up in arms about bullies when it comes to our children, so why are we teaching them how to be bullies by judging other moms and vocalizing it?

Seriously.  Being a mom is hard.  It's wonderful, and rewarding, and completely worth it, but it's hard.  I'm just admitting it.  Sometimes I need some "me time" or an ear to sound off on.  Sometimes I feel completely at the point of melt down and I need someone to tell me that it's going to be ok.  I also need someone to tell me that they go through exactly the same thing.

That little statement can go a long way.

Eisley's First Birthday Party!

My daughter turned one last week, and we celebrated that milestone this past weekend.  It was a little bit surreal to sing happy birthday to her and light that first birthday candle.  She had a great time though, and a bunch of our friends came out (despite our foot of snowfall a few days earlier and the fact that they'd still only plowed one lane on our street).  I had a lot of fun making decorations for Eisley's party, and I think everything looked super cute!  I just had to share a couple of photos from her party.  I think it was almost pinterest-worthy!  ;)

As always all photos are copyrighted and cannot be used without permission.