The Things I've Learned - 4 Month Edition

I can't believe my little girl is four months old already!  Time is just going so fast.  I remember being a kid in grade school and feeling like the summer would never come.  Now as an adult, I wonder where the summer's gone more often than not!

Well, without further ado, here are some things that I've learned this month.

1.  You know how people will say to you "Meh.  Sleep is overrated."?  I want to know what those people are smoking.  Until I got pregnant, I totally underrated sleep.

2.  You always want what you can't have.  ie sleep, a nice hot bath, the chance to go to the bathroom without a baby screaming that she needs you the second you sit down on the toilet.

3.  At 4 months, babies can be hilarious!  They discover their feet, how to chew on them, how to make fart-type noises with their mouths, and start to laugh and giggle more often.  You will probably just watch your baby in amazement, and crack up at how proud they are that they can blow raspberries now.

4.  That 4 month sleep regression that everyone talks about?  Ugh.  It's so real, and so sucky.  Goodbye sleep.  It was nice to know you.

5.  When you go back to work (if you go back to work) as a breastfeeding mother who intends to pump... get ready for some ignorant comments.  And get ready to defend your rights.  Sadly, these comments and potential attacks will probably come from your childless female managers, not the males.  Go figure.  Stick up for yourself and your baby.  They just don't get it.

6.  If you find yourself in the market for a new vehicle, you will probably find yourself leaning towards a mini-van.  You will feel old, and slightly nerdy, but then you will think about all the space you'll have to bring home furniture, and you won't hit your head on the ceiling of your car as often when you get the baby seat out of the car, and... ok.  You'll resign yourself to the fact that a mini-van is almost inevitably in your future.

7.  Mini-vans are freaking expensive!  Good Lord.  Someone want to buy me a winning lottery ticket?

8.  Sleep deprivation can often equal depression.  If you're like me, that also equals going broke because you will participate in what so many women before us have done to cure the blues.  Retail therapy.  Although, if you have a spirited, unpredictable baby like me, you will now get your "therapy" in online.

9.  Your house probably looks messy way more often than you'd like it to, but you still have a little baby and who has time to clean constantly?  So what if your house looks like a tornado ripped through it?  You will never have a better excuse than this.  Take advantage of it!

10.  Sleep when you can.  You know you'll regret doing other things (like writing a blog) while the baby sleeps as soon as they wake up and you are still exhausted.  Your baby is four months old now!  You'd think you would have figured this one out by now...   

The Post in Which I Try To String a Coherent Sentence Together.

Forgive me if any of this post makes no sense.  I, like many other new moms, am sleep deprived.  (As if I needed proof, I just started to type "sleeped deprived."  Lord help me.)  My darling, sweet, angelic stubborn daughter has decided that neither of us need to sleep anymore.  She'll be turning 4 months this week (where has the time gone!?) and we've hit that 4 month sleep regression stage.  Yay!

Now, I know sleep deprivation is one of the universal rites of passage of motherhood.  A badge of honor, as it were, that lets other moms knowingly (and annoyingly) say to every pregnant woman they see "Enjoy your sleep now!  You won't get any once that baby is born!"  If you've ever wondered why these moms smile at you as they say that, I've decided that it's because misery loves company.  And tired mamas have a lot of company.

I thought I had at least partially escaped this fate.  Eisley would typically sleep between 5 to 7 hours the first part of the night by the time she was just a few weeks old.  It could only get better from there, right!?  Sure.  Absolutely!  Oh boy.  So now, I've become the mom that reads books searching for the secrets of the universe.  Surely in one of those books is the fool proof solution to my problems.  We tried the "cry it out" method the other night out of desperation, and all I think it did was make her needy and emotional the next day.  So I bought "the no-cry sleep solution" and I'm just praying that there is something in there to help me figure out how to break the awful habits we set in motion when it comes to getting our daughter to sleep.  Oh please God let there be something in there that can help her sleep!

I know that this is just a season, and that she will have to start sleeping some day (she has to, right?  I mean, this kid is only human...), but for now, I have to admit that I'm discouraged and exhausted.  Nick tries to help me get some sleep at night, he tries to calm her down when she wakes up after only an hour of sleep, but she only wants to nurse.  It's hard.  It's totally and completely worth it, but it's really hard to be so exhausted, take care of my daughter, take care of myself, spend time with my husband, and work part time on top of it.

I love where my daughter is at right now.  She's getting so funny, becoming more interactive, more aware, more full of personality.  It makes it difficult to stay frustrated when she giggles or flashes me a ridiculously huge smile.  She's the tiny love of my life, and I'm trying hard not wish that this period of her life would speed by so that I could get some sleep.  I keep telling myself how amazing this time is, how quickly she's growing and learning, and how much she is changing.

I am trying to take each moment as it comes, nap when I can, and really enjoy each new stage of her life.  Even if it means that sleep is a distant memory (for now, at least).  Everyone says that this part goes by so quickly, and I know they're right.  Four months has gone by, and it feels like only yesterday that we were bringing her home.  So I'll just keep dying to myself little by little each day, and ask the Lord to help me love my daughter selflessly through anything.

She's worth it, after all.